The mass in my chest wasn't without its secrets. I will not have a pleasant, Christmas-filled December. I was given a diagnosis of Hodgkin's yesterday.
There is much testing and imaging to be done. There will be a bone marrow biopsy in my future. Chemotherapy seems likely.
I'm... numb. Fear resides, trembling, under the placidity. Beneath the reassurances of "great odds". It is one of the most treatable types of cancer. I feel nothing. Is this determination?
I have no symptoms. I've read them all. Anything that matches can be explained away because I've had certain issues for many years. Not the same thing. Does this mean I have a beginning stage?
This cancer has nothing to do with last year's cancer. I had two types of cancer growing simultaneously. If we weren't scanning for my Uterine cancer, would we have known about the danger in my chest? Should I be grateful for my other cancer because it helped us detect this one? Can cancer ever be something "good"?
If my body has already housed two types of cancer, am I due for more? Is my life span already stunted? Will I live to grow old?
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