Uncertainty, even though it doesn't seem like it, is a gift. It's still leaves room for hope. While I'm waiting on my results, someone else is learning they're terminal. It doesn't make waiting easier, but it helps put it in perspective... hope exists.
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My new wheelchair won't be the model closest to the one I have because it's no longer made. I had two choices to pick from... neither one is optimal. If I get the wrong wheelchair, I'm stuck in my apartment indefinitely. Everyone thinks the process of finding the right chair is fun and quick until they go through it.
The day after my scan, I received my mother's ashes from my oldest brother. The funeral home had some delays with getting us her remains due to COVID and the storm in Texas. My mother raised us on her own (and we don't have a lot of extended family), so her loss is especially difficult. It also makes me dwell more on my mortality.
I'm barely hanging on... but I am.
